This is why I should be a Marketing Executive

By now we've all been so overwhelmed by those damn AOL CDs that we're immune to the pathetic saturation that is their business model. I mean, come on, who hasn't opened their box of cereal or woken up in the morning only to find a AOL 9.0 CD in their Cheerios or under their pillow? But hey, who can't pass up 1,738,298 FREE HOURS in your first month!

Tangential note: There are only 744 hours in a 31 day month, people. Unless you're Einstein and you can bend the space-time continuum, one cannot spend more than 744 hours in a month downloading porn. That may sound like a challenge to some guys I went to college with, sadly enough. And let's face it, if you're Einstein, you figured out back on version 2.0 that AOL is the single crappiest piece of software ever made. It succeeds because of their saturation of the non-internet savvy public, who eat it up. UGH! Oh well, back to the story.

So, I was thinking more about this Janet Jackson Super Bowl Halftime Show (sponsored by AOL). If they had been sticking with their guns and been thinking, when Janet's tomato flopped out, it would NOT have been sporting a medieval-looking pewter starburst. No way. It would have been a shiny AOL 9.0 CD, firmly affixed to her breast with a nipple stud holding it on like a cotter pin.

Shameless marketing has gone to a whole new level. I am pioneering the next big wave. Now, stay off the phones, honey, I'm expecting the job offers to come rolling in any minute.