G-Rob's What is Up with Tyler Perry?

We all know who Oprah is. Besides being the woman with a million times more "kwan" than Rod Tidwell, she is everywhere. I think I had some Oprah Flakes this morning and followed it with Oprah Roast Coffee. That got the systems going and I ended the morning squat with some Oprah Ply Toilet Paper...that's heavy duty stuff, now. She can take any million dollar idea, slap her name on it, and turn it into a freaking trillion dollar enterprise. Part of it has to do with her lemming fans, but that's another post all together. Point is, no matter where you go, you can't go a day without seeing her name. I personally think she has a complex that makes her do amazing things for people less fortunate, but she gets off on seeing her name and face all over it. There's a clinical name for it, I'm sure, but I just don't know it. The amazing this is, her name has never (to my knowledge) been slapped on a piece of crap or dumb idea.

Then there's Tyler Perry. Who? You know. Tyler Perry. The guy who brought you these corn-riddled turds:

Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman
Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?
Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion
...and many, many more Tyler Perry's craptastic creations

Seriously, Tyler. Whose freaking family reunion is it? Yours or Madea's? Make up your mind. No wait, Tyler Perry is Madea. He tries to be funny by playing the lead female role in the film. That's hilarious. We'll call this movie by the working title, Eddie Murphy's Idea.

Tyler Perry produces crap and slaps his name on it to warn the viewing public that they are about to watch a steaming loaf of human waste. In a way, he is doing us a service. I'm able to avoid eating goodies out of my yard because they have forever been known as "poisonous". Poison mushrooms, poison berries, poison rat poison, etc. Similarly, Tyler lets us know in the title that what you are about to experience may cause nausea and severe vomiting or diarrhea. Thanks, Tyler.

If we could only get more public figures to throw their names on things. It would save us an assload of time and grief. I would not recommend any of these to anyone.

Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor
Yahoo Serious' Young Einstein
Jewel's Dentist

On second thought, no. The only things you need to put possessive labels on should be your belongings. So grab Tyler Perry's matches and construct a pile of Tyler Perry's wood. Put all Tyler Perry's projects on Tyler Perry's Big New Pile of Wood and set it ablaze. If needed buy some Oprah's Lighter Fluid because I'm not sure how well Tyler Perry's turds burn. Do this and give me a big helping of G-Rob's Satisfaction.